BYE BYE BACK PAIN!

So it has now been 9 days since I got the epidural injection in my back and SI joints, and I am overjoyed by the pain relief I am experiencing!!!  The past couple days have been really good!!!  I still have some soreness which is not unusual, but I have dramatically increased range of motion, I can sit on the floor and play with the kids, unload the dishwasher without choking back tears, and sit at the table and eat with the family for the whole meal (usually half-way through I would have to head to the cushy chair to relieve the pain).  So all-in-all I can confidently say that IT'S WORKING!!!  I am also amazed at how much more energy I've had throughout the day.  My morning routine doesn't require 30 minutes of stretching in order to get moving :)

I am continuing to go to physical therapy, but now that I have the pain under control, they can be a lot more aggressive in treating the core causes of my back problems.  I am doing a rigorous glute, ab, and hip strengthening program which will help bring stability to my entire trunk.  I am at an incredible physical therapy office, and for the first time in 15 years I feel like I am receiving treatment that will actually bring me long-term relief.  I have learned so much through the experience of dealing with chronic pain, and boy what a battle it has been!  Through this whole journey God has taught me so much about relying on Him and He has been the source of my strength.  There are so many days I look back and wonder how in the world I survived not being able to move with 3 small children to take care of!  It is in those moments of complete helplessness and desperation that I see God's hand reaching down and carrying me through.  Yes, His words are true when He says He will never leave us or forsake us.  Thank  you Jesus for your faithfulness as I journeyed through this long dark tunnel.  YOU have been the Light at the end of the tunnel!

Mom's working the basics

For those of you who didn't know, Chad taught me how to throw a football on our honeymoon.  Now, I have the privilege of imparting my 'skills' to my sons!  Actually, Cole came out of the womb with perfect form.  Now all he needs are some 'non-fragile' targets!

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom....

As I embark into the land of blogging, I have been asking myself "What is the purpose for this blog?" Yes, I want it to be a place where I can share the latest on what new things the kiddos are doing and saying these days or what is going on with Chad and me, but I really want it to be more than just "news." I hope this can be a place where people can get a sneak peak into our home and our hearts. I pray that as I share the things God is teaching Chad and me through this wild adventure of Daddy-hood and Mommy-hood, our readers will find themselves saying things like, "I am so glad I'm not alone...I've felt that too...I've never thought of it that way before..." I can't make any promises that I will stay current on this blog considering the 3 children, slow internet, and an honary laptop....but I will do my best!!! And now, on with my musings....

For someone like me who thrives the best in environments which are:  1) predictable 2) controllable and 3) clean, motherhood can prove to cause me some trouble in these areas! Although I absolutely adore my kiddos and consider it an incredible privilege to be able to stay home with them, each child has caused my environment to be increasingly 1) unpredictable 2) uncontrollable and 3) messy.  I used to think I was a pretty "on top of it" person, and I was somewhat that way up until the 3rd child was born! Now many parents who had ventured down this road before me gave me fair warning about the 3rd child phenomenon, but I must confess I didn't take them seriously! Or maybe in my pride I just thought that somehow I would be exempt from living out their warnings. I thought "I've done this 2 times, what's one more?" Haha! Oh how naive I was! Over the past year and a half since Selah was born, I have become so keenly aware of just how little control I have over the circumstances of my life and just how weak I am apart from the Lord. With two kids I managed to keep the plates nicely spinning on each hand, but I only have 2 hands!!! I joke with my friends and family who are fellow nurses that I feel like my life is one constant state of triaging. I can't even count how many times in a day I have to tell myself out loud "just let it go...." Whether it's not freaking out when the boys pee on the dirt to turn it into mud, or Cole dumps over the 3rd cup of milk in a day, or Selah does her "swiper" move when I'm not looking and swishes a whole tray of lasagne over my freshly mopped floor, and on and on and on....God has been teaching me through all of these "moments" some big lessons on "perspective." In the grand scheme of life, these "messy inconveniences" are just not that big of a deal. I have friends and family members who have suffered deep losses in the past year, and I'm fretting about my grout looking dirty??? Talk about perspective....

Through this journey of Motherhood, God has been teaching me the principle of "little by little." I know that I shouldn't fret about the messes and disorginaztion I see around me, but on the flip-side I also know that I can't just let my house fall into complete disarray and chaos. So where is the balance? I'm still working on finding it, but I think I'm getting closer! When it comes to organizing, I have been practicing the "little by little" principle by going "drawer by drawer, cupboard by cupboard, and closet by closet." So instead of attempting to re-organize my entire house in a day and getting totally overwhelmed (there actually was a time in my life when I had the time and energy to do that!), I break it down into small, manageable projects. Ones that don't take more than 30-45 minutes to complete. That is about the max amount of time I can realistically devote to a project without being interrupted at this stage of my life! And the beautiful thing is that I get the satisfaction of actually finishing it! So far I have tackled 2 kitchen cupboards, 2 kitchen drawers, the laundry room shelves, 1 laundry room cupboard, and the linen closet (all in the course of about 2 weeks). Now here is where the true confession comes in: when I find myself in the course of the day with smoke coming out my ears because the kids have just dumped out all 12 Rubbermaid containers of toys, I can secretly escape to steal a look at one of my clean cupboards! I am not kidding, I actually do this...when I'm really stressed out, I just look at my neatly stacked pillow cases or my new set of Tupperware that has all matching pieces and just momentarily go to a happy place :) 

"Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you...They go from strength to strength, til each appears before God in Zion." Psalm 84:4,7

Week 1 Down + Surgery + a Birthday!!!

Well, I am VERY happy to report that Rees had a wonderful first week of school, and he's off to a another great start this week! We are so proud of him! I think the thing that's helping ease this transition is the fact that he is SOOOOO excited and motivated to go to school. He is such an eager learner, and we know he will grow so much this year! He adores his teacher, Mrs. Witters, and we do too! We are car-pooling with our dear friends, the Bulls, and we just crack up hearing the kids' different reports of what they did at school. How clearly you can see the difference between boys and girls by simply asking Zoe what they did at school and then asking Rees the same question! Let's just say if I want all (or any) details, it's Zoe I must ask! Today Rees had his first "show and tell" and he proudly brought a baby Praying Mantis in his bug container! A funny story from yesterday (reported to me by Andi, she was the teacher helper for the day!) was that Mrs. Witters kept asking Rees why he wasn't raising his hand, and he very matter-of-factly reported, "I can't because I have my rollie-pollie in my hand." Well, instead of putting it outside like she suggested, he just shoved it in his pocket! Oh, boys and their bugs :)

Last Friday, I had a much-anticipated procedure done to (hopefully) alleviate the back pain that has plagued me for 16 years (and that is not an exaggeration...) It was done at a surgical center in Fresno, and let's just say I am so thankful that I was under anesthesia and have no memory of the procedure! The doctor did an epidural injection in my spine and two other injections in my right sacro-illiac joint. I made a small mistake and forgot to inform the anethesiologist that I am VERY sensitive and only require 1/2 doses of pretty much everything....well, turns out the entire lower half of my body was numb for hours! They made me stay for over an hour extra because I collapsed trying to get out of bed to leave. The nurses said they'd never see anyone stay that numb for so long. I was so grateful to have such a big strong husband who could carry me into the car then into the house! I slept the entire day and was VERY sore for a few days. I started feeling a little bit better yesterday and actually found myself doing some movements that I have not been able to do without pain for quite some time. I am very hopeful that I am on the right path for complete healing, and I praise God teaching me so much through this entire process!

Yesterday we had a very fun day celebrating Chad's 33rd birthday! I was reflecting recently that this birthday marks 10 years since we celebrated his birthday for the first time as a couple. It was his 23rd "golden" birthday a decade ago! What a remarkable 10 years it has been...our cups overflow with so many blessings and testimonies of God's goodness and faithfulness to us year after year! For this year's special day, we were sure to eat all of his favorite things over the past 2 days....Spaghetti Factory, Special K bars, and of course German Chocolate cake! The boys helped me bake it and decorate it. They were so cute about it! Rees wanted to make it in a star shape because "Daddy is a shining star for the whole world." Seriously, how sweet is that? We got to share it with our dear friends after dinner at Red Robin. All in all, it was a great day! I love my Chado :)

Hopping on the Bandwagon!

My big boy, already starting kindergarten!

Ok, I am totally going out on a limb here at starting a family blog!!! This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, but "time" is hard to come by these days. And not to mention the fact that I'm the most computer savvy person out there...but I'll give it a try! I hope this can be a place where I can share our "family news" and stay more connected with our dear friends and family who are too far away!

This summer has been a complete whirlwind of travel and activity, and I can hardly believe that the end is nearing, in a mere 4 days that is. My sweet firstborn, Rees, will be starting KINDERGARTEN on Monday! It feels like such a landmark occasion, not only for his life, but for me in my motherhood journey and for our whole family. I know, I know, it may be "just kindergarten" but this milestone symbolizes so much more for me. There is part of me that feels a sense of relief, realizing that I survived the first 5 years of this wild journey into Motherhood. But there is also a feeling of sadness knowing that every year from here on out will be one more step towards independence and adulthood that my son will take. Over the past couple weeks, I have been so acutely aware of how much Rees is becoming his own person, complete with his own unique likes, dislikes, opinions, personality, quirks, and priorities. As newborns, infants, and even toddlers, these little ones feel so much like an extension of myself...they grow within me and then for the first couple years are attached to me in some way whether it's being nursed, carried, or cuddled. But little by little that begins to change and one day there's the realization, "Wow, this little body, this little boy is his OWN PERSON." And this person is so much different from myself and that's ok! My prayer for Rees over the past month has been "Lord, teach me how to parent and instruct this child of mine. Teach me how to speak to him in a way that connects with his heart." I have been amazed at how God has answered this prayer. He is showing me how to connect with his heart, how to validate his ideas, and how to release him to make his own choices, instead of controlling him (where appropriate of course). It brings such joy to my heart to to feel that heart connection with my little boy when so many times it just felt as if we would do nothing except butt heads! Thank you Lord for teaching me how to love this precious life that you created!